Children’s Grief Awareness Day is Nov. 21: Wear blue to support grievers

Minnesotans are encouraged to wear blue on Nov. 21 as a symbol of solidarity and support for the one in 15 Minnesota youth who lose a parent or sibling by the age of 18.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day is observed on the third Thursday in November, to raise awareness and educate others about childhood grief and the importance of providing family-focused support.

Children’s Grief Awareness Day was proposed in 2021 as an official proclamation by Carolyn Kinzel, founder and executive director of Eden Prairie’s Brighter Days Family Grief Center, and has been endorsed each year since by Governor Tim Walz. Although this is a national day, prior to 2021, it had not been recognized in Minnesota.

Brighter Days is a statewide grief center serving all grievers of all ages, including those anticipating the death of a loved one. It focuses on bringing families together by addressing the many psychosocial and logistical needs of each family member.

While the center provides grief counseling and grief support groups at no cost, it is not a mental health organization focused only on counseling.

“Our model of care is the only one like it in the United States, focusing on all aspects of grief — legal, financial, emotional, and physical,” Kinzel said. “Many simply counsel and forget the day-to-day logistics and complexities that grievers navigate.”

Advocacy and education are a big part of the center’s work. Kinzel also trains other grief centers in the U.S. on Brighter Days’ model of care. Earlier this year, Brighter Days held the first statewide grief conference to provide further education to professionals on supporting grievers.

Kinzel said that Brighter Days gets close to 450 inquiries per month and has served over 10,000 people since 2017 from its locations in Eden Prairie and St. Paul. It plans to open a third location next year, and is also raising money in a capital campaign and scouting locations for a grief and wellness conference center in the Twin Cities.

While it provides help to grievers of all ages, Brighter Days has several youth-specific programs and is also involved in grief education advocacy.

In Dec. 2020, Brighter Days acquired Fairview Health’s Youth Grief Services program, serving hundreds of youth annually through a quarterly Family Grief Support Series and two annual bereavement camps, titled Camp Erin-Twin Cities.

Brighter Days also offers virtual and in-person grief support groups, access to free short-term grief counseling, and family-friendly events that provide connection to others who have experienced a similar loss.

“We view this connection as one of the most important emotional aspects of our model of care; knowing that there are others who understand can help diminish the level of isolation a grieving child or teen may typically feel,” Kinzel said.

Brighter Days also works with schools to facilitate grief education. “Our overarching goal at Brighter Days is to educate and bring awareness not only to grief but to provide education on how to support grievers in organizations and schools,” Kinzel said.

This goal includes advocating with the state legislature to get grief curriculum passed in schools in grades kindergarten through 8. Kinzel said that many adults don’t know what to say or how to support someone who has lost a loved one. The goal of the grief curriculum would be to start teaching kids about grief at a young age so they are more comfortable talking about it and supporting their peers.

Educational organizations interested in learning more about working with Brighter Days can visit the School Consultations page on Brighter Day’s website.

How to get involved

Kinzel said there are several ways to observe Children’s Grief Awareness Day:

• Wear blue to show support for grievers. Brighter Days distributed blue signs around town, which many in the community placed on their lawns to raise awareness.
• Attend a fundraising event at Park Tavern in St. Louis Park on Nov. 21 from 4 to 7 p.m. to meet Ken Rohlf, author of “The Christmas Sun”, a children’s book (see information in image below). The event will also feature light appetizers and refreshments. The first 100 people will receive a free book and ornament and can decorate and light a luminary for a special tribute at 6:30 p.m.  
• Donate to Brighter Days to help sustain their youth and family programs including Camp Erin-Minnesota, a no-cost bereavement camp offered up to three times per year. 
• Download the official proclamation and display in your schools, businesses, and community organizations.

Dec. 7 Brighter Nights Gala tickets on sale now

The community is also invited to attend the annual Brighter Nights Gala, which will take place from 5 to 11 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 7 at InterContinental Riverfront Hotel in St. Paul. Tickets are on sale through Nov. 28 on Brighter Days’ website.

Event proceeds will directly benefit Minnesota children, adults, and families grieving the death or terminal diagnosis of a family member. 

Approximately 350 guests are expected at the event, which will feature a cocktail reception, plated dinner and dessert, live and silent auctions, live music and dancing, and special opportunities for guests to honor their loved one. The program will include highlights from the past year of impact as well as testimonials from individuals whose lives have been touched by Brighter Days.

“This year we are also offering an opportunity to sponsor one of our six individual ‘Tribute Trees’ featured throughout the venue,” Kinzel said. “This is a beautiful way to honor your loved one with a tree lit up in their honor. A special tribute sign with their picture and story, written by you, will be displayed near the tree, and you can decorate as much or as little as you wish.”